Why SEND Parents Bring a Different Kind of Insight to Advocacy

Summary

By listening to voices like Michelle’s, we move closer to a system where families are partners, not passengers, and where every child’s needs are met with understanding rather than resistance.

In the SEND sector, we often talk about expertise in terms of training, qualifications, and professional roles. But there is another form of understanding that shapes advocacy in powerful ways, the kind that comes from being a SEND parent. It’s emotional, practical, and shaped by years of navigating systems that rarely make things easy.

This month, we’re highlighting the voices of advocates who support families not only with professional knowledge, but with the perspective that comes from walking the same path. One of those advocates is Michelle Hughes, founder of SEND Help – You, who generously shared her reflections on what families need and why parent‑led insight matters.

A Path Into Advocacy Built Over Years

Michelle’s journey began with community, connection, and a decade of supporting families long before she ever formalised her role.

“My route into advocacy grew organically over more than a decade. I began supporting families informally through my work with the Parent Carer Forum, then worked for an advocacy organisation, and eventually set up independently three years ago. So when I talk about understanding the SEND system, it comes from years of working alongside families, not just from my own experiences as a parent.”

Her story reflects what many SEND parents know: you learn the system because you have to, and then you help others because you know how isolating it can feel.

“I know what it’s like to move from trusting and believing everything professionals say (we’re brought up to look up to professionals and follow their guidance) to realising that I needed to understand the system myself and learn to speak up for my children.”

Why SEND Parents Bring Something Professionals Can’t

We asked Michelle, in what ways does being a SEND parent give you insights that purely professional advocates might miss? 

“My research into how mothers of autistic children experience advocacy revealed something striking: professionals who work within SEND and then become SEND parents are stunned by how different it feels from the parent side. Even with their knowledge and connections, they still face barriers, and they discover that navigating SEND structures is far harder than raising their disabled children. The structures are the difficulty, not our children.

When I work with families, I recognise what it feels like to be introduced as “mum” in a meeting where everyone else is Mrs X or has a professional title. Fine at the school gate, not so much around a table where everyone’s contribution should carry equal weight. I know what it’s like when friends drift away because your life revolves around appointments and appeals, when your conversations are about autism pathways and EHCPs rather than what everyone else is talking about. I’ve also made lifelong friends with other parent carers who truly get it, where you don’t have to explain why you’re celebrating your child managing a full week at school or why you’re exhausted from yet another meeting. I’ve also met some really good professionals who genuinely support families and speak up for them, and I value them more than they’ll ever know.”

Do you find that your personal experiences help families trust you more deeply, or shape the way you communicate with them? 

“I think families trust me because I’ve been where they are. I’m not going to judge them for crying in a meeting or for getting frustrated when they’re told, yet again, that their child just needs more structure at home. I get it. That shared experience shapes how I communicate. I don’t use jargon; I explain things in plain English because that’s what I needed when I was starting out.”

What advice do you give parents who are just beginning to navigate the SEND system?

“For parents just beginning this journey, my advice is simple: trust your instincts about your child. You’re not being overprotective or pushy when you advocate for what they need. Document everything. Emails are your friend because they create a paper trail, and ending with something like “This is for my records, no response needed unless I’ve misunderstood anything” keeps everything documented and your communication clear. Pick your battles; focus on what matters most right now. Find your people, other SEND parents who won’t judge you for celebrating the small wins or needing to vent.  I always signpost to free support and resources when appropriate because not everyone can afford paid advocacy. I also offer free training sessions and support calls because my ultimate goal is to help families secure the support their child needs.”

Understanding SEND Through a Parent’s Eyes: What Professionals Can Learn

Michelle’s reflections highlight something that often gets overlooked in conversations about SEND support: families aren’t just navigating paperwork, assessments, and meetings, they’re navigating an entire way of life that reshapes friendships, routines, identity, and expectations. Parent advocates understand this not because they’ve studied it, but because they’ve lived every version of it: the exhaustion, the determination, the small wins that feel enormous, and the constant need to translate their child’s needs into a system that doesn’t always listen.

Their insight doesn’t replace professional expertise, it strengthens it. It brings nuance, empathy, and a level of understanding that helps families feel seen rather than scrutinised. When that kind of support is present, everything shifts. Meetings feel less intimidating. Decisions feel less overwhelming. Parents feel less alone.

At SEND Tutoring, we believe that the SEND system works best when families, professionals, and advocates learn from one another. Michelle’s work is a reminder that the most effective support often comes from people who understand both the emotional landscape and the structural challenges. Her approach blends clarity, compassion, and practical strategy exactly what families need when they’re trying to secure the right support for their child.

SEND parents shouldn’t have to become experts to be heard, but many do, and their insight is reshaping the future of advocacy. By listening to voices like Michelle’s, we move closer to a system where families are partners, not passengers, and where every child’s needs are met with understanding rather than resistance.

Support for Every Learner
Discover how SEND Tutoring supports students with a wide range of needs, including ADHD, autism, dyslexia, PDA, SEMH, epilepsy, and more. 

Resources and Insights 

Looking for more practical tools and expert guidance? Visit our resources page for additional blogs, strategies, and helpful links.

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Ella Jones

If you’re looking for support for a child or young person with special educational needs or a disability, book a free call with us today and find out how we can help.