OCD: Unpicking the Myths and Hearing the Reality

Resources Blog OCD: Unpicking the Myths and Hearing the Reality

OCD can affect anyone, at any age, and it often begins in childhood or adolescence.

Apr 15

Summary

What OCD actually looks like, from a 19‑year‑old student’s perspective.

OCD is one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. It’s often reduced to stereotypes such as being tidy, liking things “just so”, colour‑coding shelves, or being a perfectionist. But for young people living with OCD, the reality is far more complex, and far more exhausting.

To get the record straight, we spoke with Emily, a 19‑year‑old student who has lived with OCD since childhood. She asked to remain on a first‑name basis so she could share her experiences honestly and without fear of judgement. Her reflections cut through the myths and reveal what OCD really feels like from the inside.

So, What Is OCD?

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where a person becomes caught in a cycle of intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviours or mental rituals (compulsions). These compulsions aren’t habits or preferences, they’re actions the brain feels forced to do in order to reduce fear, discomfort, or a sense that something is or will be “wrong”.

OCD can affect anyone, at any age, and it often begins in childhood or adolescence. For many young people, the signs are subtle at first: taking longer to start tasks, needing things to “feel right”, avoiding certain situations, or seeking reassurance repeatedly. Over time, these patterns can grow into a cycle that feels impossible to break without support.

Emily described it this way:

“For me, OCD is kind of like having a smoke alarm in my head that goes off even when there’s no fire. The compulsions are me trying to switch it off.”

OCD is not about being tidy, organised, or perfectionistic.

It’s about fear, uncertainty, and the brain trying desperately to regain a sense of safety.

Compulsions can be:

Visible (checking, repeating, tapping, redoing work)
Invisible (counting, repeating phrases silently, mentally reviewing events, trying to “neutralise” a thought)

And obsessions can attach themselves to almost anything, safety, health, morality, relationships, schoolwork, routines, or even random intrusive thoughts that feel frightening or “wrong”.

Understanding this foundation helps us unpick the myths and understand what OCD really looks like for young people.

What Is an Intrusive Thought?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that suddenly pop into the mind. Everyone experiences them, but for people with OCD, these thoughts feel sticky, frightening, and impossible to ignore. They don’t reflect the person’s values or intentions; in fact, they’re often the exact opposite of what the person wants.

Emily explained it like this:

“For me, an intrusive thought feels like my brain shouting something at me that I don’t believe, don’t want, and didn’t choose. But it still scares me, because I feel so caught off guard in the moment. I regularly have these awful images of either the people I love, or myself in really harmful, sometimes violent or gory situations, which flash into my brain unexpectedly. It’s almost like this whispering voice putting the idea of ‘it would be really bad if something like this were to happen in real life’”

Intrusive thoughts can be about:

Safety (“What if something bad happens?”)
Harm (“What if I accidentally hurt someone?”)
Contamination (“What if this food has salmonella?”)
Morality (“What if I’m a bad person?”)
Health (“What if I get sick?”)
Relationships (“What if they leave me?”)
Identity (“What if people think I’m crazy?”)
Or completely random, bizarre ideas

For someone with OCD, the problem isn’t the thought itself, it’s the meaning the brain attaches to it. Instead of letting the thought pass, the brain treats it like a threat that must be neutralised.

This is where obsessions and compulsions begin.

Obsessions and Compulsions: How the OCD Cycle Works

OCD is built on a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Understanding this cycle helps families and educators recognise what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Obsessions

Obsessions are intrusive thoughts that create intense anxiety, discomfort, or a sense of dread. They feel urgent and important, even when the person knows they’re irrational.

Emily described her obsessions as:

“Constant…That’s the thing, they are always there in the back of my mind. My brain will find new things or triggers to attach my obsessions to. A random obsessive thought for me is the fear of going blind. I get scared I am going to wake up one day without my vision, and so anytime I get something in my eye, even if I itch my eye with ‘contaminated’ hands, or have trouble taking out my contact lenses after a long day, my brain tells me that I will lose my vision because of an irrational action”

Obsessions can be:

fears
doubts
mental images
“what if” scenarios
urges
or a feeling that something is “not right”

Compulsions

Compulsions are the actions (physical or mental) that someone does to try to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsession. They bring temporary relief, but they also reinforce the OCD cycle.

Compulsions can look like:

‘Double / triple checking’
Avoiding triggers
Seeking reassurance either through asking someone, or this can also look like compulsive googling
Redoing an action because it wasn’t ‘right’ the first time, or you’re not 100% sure you actually did it
Counting
Mentally replaying events
Repeating phrases silently
Arranging or ordering
Tapping or touching in a rhythmic or repeated pattern

Emily shared:

“The ritual doesn’t really make sense, and I know that deep down but it does make the panic fade away for a moment. That’s why it’s so hard to stop.”

Why the cycle continues

The relief from a compulsion is short‑lived.

Soon, the intrusive thought returns, often stronger, and the cycle repeats.

This is why OCD can take up so much time and energy, and why young people often feel exhausted, ashamed, or confused by their own thoughts.

Understanding this cycle helps adults respond with empathy rather than frustration, and it helps students like Emily feel seen rather than judged.

Myth 1: “OCD is about being neat and organised.”

Reality: OCD is about fear, not preference.

Emily told us:

“People always assume I’m super tidy but I’m not. My OCD actually has nothing to do with cleaning or mess, it’s mostly about trying to stop something bad from happening.”

OCD is an anxiety disorder.

The compulsions aren’t about liking things a certain way, they’re about needing to do something to relieve intense fear or discomfort.

For some young people, compulsions look like checking, repeating, or avoiding. For example:

“Before I leave the house and before I go to bed each night, I have to check that the stove is turned off. I do this in a very specific way so it’s not just a quick check. I first have to turn each of the nobs three times at least, sometimes it’s more, and then I stand close and listen for any hissing noises to make sure no gas is leaking out. My brain tells me that if I don’t check the stove in this specific and repeated way, something bad like a fire or gas leak will happen. I find myself avoiding cooking on the gas stove too because I find it so triggering.”

For others, compulsions are completely invisible. They instead will have mental rituals like counting, repeating phrases silently, or trying to “cancel out” a thought.

Myth 2: “Everyone has a bit of OCD.”

Reality: OCD is not a personality quirk, it’s a debilitating cycle.

People often say “I’m so OCD” when they like things tidy or organised in a particular way.

But OCD is an intense cycle of:

Intrusive & obsessive thoughts
Compulsions
Temporary relief
The cycle restarting

Emily explained:

“I know they’re irrational, but they feel so real. And the only way to shut them up is to do the ritual.”

This cycle can take over hours of a young person’s day.

Myth 3: “OCD is obvious, you’d notice it.”

Reality: Most compulsions happen in silence.

Many young people with OCD become experts at hiding their rituals.

Emily shared:

“My compulsions were mostly in my head. Teachers thought I was daydreaming, but I was actually repeating the same sentence over and over so nothing bad would happen.”

A student who seems distracted or slow to start may be fighting a mental battle no one else can see.

How OCD Affects Learning

In school or tutoring sessions, OCD can show up as:

difficulty starting tasks
rewriting work repeatedly
checking answers over and over
avoiding certain topics
needing reassurance
struggling with transitions
perfectionism driven by fear, not preference

Emily explained:

“I’d spend so long trying to get the first sentence ‘right’ that I’d fall behind. I wasn’t even trying to be perfect, it was more that it just didn’t ‘feel right’. Doing exams with that same feeling and being under time pressure just felt like an impossible situation”

Understanding this helps parents and educators respond with compassion rather than frustration. The best thing you can do for someone with OCD is be patient with them, understanding their triggers and reassuring them with patience and understanding can help to put their nervous system at ease.

How SEND Tutoring Supports Students with OCD

At SEND Tutoring, we recognise that OCD is an anxiety disorder, not a behaviour issue.

Our tutors use approaches that help students feel safe, regulated, and in control such as:

Low‑pressure, flexible sessions
Breaking tasks into manageable steps
Normalising pauses and processing time
Avoiding reassurance loops while still offering emotional safety
Using neutral, non‑evaluative language
Supporting emotional regulation before academic work
Collaborating with families and mental health professionals

Emily summed up what made the biggest difference:

“The people in my life who are closest to me are the best because they understand and truly want to support me, they know that I need them to be patient with me and tell me things like ‘You’re not alone. We’ll figure this out together.’”

That’s the heart of our approach:

meeting young people where they are, and helping them learn without fear.

Support for Every Learner
Discover how SEND Tutoring supports students with a wide range of needs, including ADHD, autism, dyslexia, PDA, SEMH, epilepsy, and more.

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About the author

Ella Jones

If you’re looking for support for a child or young person with special educational needs or a disability, book a free call with us today and find out how we can help.